I’m here, I’m queer, and I’m still trying to get used to it
STOP USING ‘QUEER’ IN PLACE OF ‘LGBT’ STOP USING ‘QUEER’ IN PLACE OF ‘LGBT’ STOP USING ‘QUEER’ IN PLACE OF ‘LGBT’ STOP USING ‘QUEER’ IN PLACE OF ‘LGBT’ STOP USING ‘QUEER’ IN PLACE OF ‘LGBT’ STOP USING ‘QUEER’ IN PLACE OF ‘LGBT’ STOP USING ‘QUEER’ IN PLACE OF ‘LGBT’ STOP USING ‘QUEER’ IN PLACE OF ‘LGBT’ STOP USING ‘QUEER’ IN PLACE OF ‘LGBT’
Why? I’m asking genuinely.
The limitations of GLBT as an acronym mean that it’s nearly impossible to say/read without sounding or feeling ridiculous in its current iteration (LGBTQIAAP+, if I’m not mistaken?), and GSRM and MOGAI have been criticised and fail to gain traction. So in the meantime, as we make efforts to establish a better terminology for ourselves, what more succinctly describes us through our shared experiences than the word ‘queer?’
I’ve seen/heard people say queer is a good word to use, and others say it’s a slur and shouldn’t be used.
I feel like I understand how people don’t want it used because it has been a slur in the past, but I’m not sure it always was a negative word. I could be wrong. From my observation though, it doesn’t seem like it is anymore. Of course, this could be because I’m surrounded by very open-minded & decent people, but I’ve never heard it used as an insult.
As an ally, I’d be interested in hearing other opinions on this. I generally don’t use it unless it’s demonstrated as a positive in conversation, but I’m curious all the same.
the word queer’s first actual definition was “abnormal” or “weird” or “strange” and cishet people starting using that towards lgbt people as a way to alienate them which is how it became an lgbt (attraction to same gender AND/OR not being cis) specific slur. it did not start out being a cute word to describe lgbt people, and then cishets took it for themselves. it started as a slur and still is a slur used by many cishet people. however, lgbt people on tumblr like to distance themselves from the actual lgbt movement and think queer is a quirky word to add to your bio and not an actual really damaging slur that has been used to murder lgbt people. people who are attracted to the same gender and/or are not cis are allowed to use the slur to DESCRIBE THEMSELVES if they choose to reclaim it, but should not EVER use it to describe the lgbt community as a whole because it is a slur and is still extremely triggering to a lot of us. just use lgbt. it’s easy to pronounce, and it’s even a letter shorter than queer.
side note: YOU, as an ally, specifically, can never ever ever ever ever use the slur queer under any circumstances.
Actually, among the first recorded usages of “queer” as applied to same-sex-attracted people was in the 1910s, as a term of self-identification among same-sex attracted men in the north-eastern United States. As per George Chauncey’s “Christian Brotherhood or Sexual Perversion?: Homosexual Identities and the Construction of the Sexual Boundaries in the World War I Era”:
The [gang of] inverts [within the US Navy in 1919 Newport, Rhode Island] grouped themselves together as “queers” on the basis of their effeminate gender behavior, and they all played roles culturally defined as feminine in sexual contacts [sic]. But they distinguished among themselves on the basis of the “feminine” sexual behavior they preferred, categorizing themselves as “fairies” (also called cocksuckers), “pogues” (men who liked to be “browned,” or anally penetrated), and “two-way artists” (who enjoyed both). The ubiquity of these distinctions and their importance to personal self-identification cannot be overemphasized. Witnesses at the naval inquiries explicitly drew the distinctions as a matter of course and incorporated them into their descriptions of the gay subculture.
(Bolding mine.)
Both straight-identified and queer-identified servicemen who testified at these hearings used “queer” and its associated sub-categories, but the gradations of terminology seem very much to have originated with the male-same-sex-attracted community to describe the subtleties of social expectation among them, rather than with the mainstream straight establishment putting them on trial. Similarly, the punctuation of OED citations like this 1914 one cited in the Journal of the History of Sexuality imply that the mainstream academic press, when using queer, was quoting a term that had originated outside their purview, a sociological adaptation more than a derogatory weapon wielded by the straight establishment: “Fourteen young men were invited..with the premise that they would have the opportunity of meeting some of the prominent ‘queers’.” All of this is evidence of a nearly century-long history, among the same-sex-attracted community and independent of the straights, of using this word to self-identify.
This is not to say that the word wasn’t also or later used as a harmful slur against same-sex-attracted people; merely that history didn’t start during the late 1960s. If we’re going to talk about historical context, the origin of terms, and political reclamation (truly, in this case, reclamation), I think it’s pretty relevant that men as far back as the Great War and even the late Victorian period were using this word to self-identify.
I personally, as a queer person, am pretty much never ever going to use any acronym to describe myself when I have at my disposal an actual word, with resonances and power of its own and a history as outlined. When I use it to describe myself and my historical context I am not using it “in place of” LGBT; I am using my deliberately-chosen, preferred term.
Eloquent as ever, havingbeenbreathedout. ♥
I would add a couple of things here, as well (though much less eruditely).
One, that political reclamation of the word “queer” absolutely isn’t something that just happened on tumblr because people were looking for a cute or quirky replacement for an impossibly long acronym. In the late 80s/early 90s, some members of the community made a conscious choice to rehabilitate the word “queer”–at least in part because of the insufficiency of other terms and with full understanding of its derogatory use (1).
Two, words change meaning and usage. This is an inevitable consequence of the use of language, as well as a self-conscious political action. “Gay” hasn’t always meant “homosexual”. A “dyke” isn’t just a “ditch” (although in this case the two are, I think (?), just homophones, not actually etymologically related). See also: fairy, queen, fruit, pansy, etc. Some of these terms will endure, and some of them won’t. Some will mean something completely different in fifty or a hundred years. Does that mean we leave a word’s history behind? Of course not. Does it mean some words (like “queer”) don’t still have the power to hurt people? Obviously that’s not the case. But so many words have been co-opted to carry negative connotations about queer people, why shouldn’t we reclaim some of them? Why shouldn’t we rehabilitate words that do valuable work for us, not regardless of their history but because of it.
For me, “queer” is useful because it’s an umbrella term. Do I identify as bisexual or pansexual? I haven’t quite figured that out yet. Good thing “queer” exists to give me the room to explore those possibilities. I may never quite figure it out very neatly, and “queer” means that’s OK, too.
Lastly, and almost completely unrelatedly, my cursory Wikipedia research in writing this post turned up this extraordinary piece of 18th Century slang for F/F sex: “the game of flats” (2). Incredible.
Is this an age thing? I am really trying to understand this vehemence against a word I’ve used to id myself for 35 years. It was reclaimed as an act of defiance in the seventies, and now it’s a problem? It’s been so dang useful.
Do not get. But the word policing is irritating.
Why are all queer events on at like 10 at night? Some of us queers can’t stay out that late? Can’t we have a gay afternoon tea? Lesbian lunch? Bisexual breakfast?
Kill the idea that LGBT+ stuff is inherently rated R and therefore must only occur in the dead of night.
Asexual elevenses. Transgender teatime. Help me out here. Questioning coffee date.
Pansexual picnics.
What about bisexual second breakfast?
Unfollow these terrible pages please
“Other queer folk” I didn’t know that being a poc makes you queer…
op meant that she impersonates both poc, and other lgbt ppl
I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to have been in the queer movement for 20+ years, to have studied queer theory, to have contributed to you potentially enjoying the rights you have today because I was part of a groundswell of lobbying and direct action in the 1990s….
…to have a 15 year old who’s spent maybe 8 months being political and has never inquired about queer history anonymously message me, “EXCUSE ME QU**R IS A SLUR LMAO OMG EMBARRASSSING AN aCTUAL ADULT WHO THINKS IT’S OKAY TO USE QU**R!~!!!!”
Dude, we are a slur. Queer folks are a slur to conservative straight people. Everything we are will be used as a slur by everyone who hates us. Gay is a slur. Lesbian is a slur. People will try to use all of our words against us. Don’t fucking let them get into your head to the point at which you’re telling actual queer people not to use the words we’ve used to unite ourselves and empower ourselves for decades.
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees
Not going to stop identifying as queer so stop trying to dictate my identity
It’s so nice to know that this is my most popular post, and the majority of the notes aren’t discourse, but people actually reblogging it because they identify as queer.
It’s so beautiful. Y'all are so beautiful.
“Queer” is an excellent, reclaimed word that nonbinary people can use without shame.
Go out there, be fiercely queer, and fight back against queer-nonbinary erasure.
someone: the word queer makes me uncomfortable, please don’t use it to describe me
me: 👍👍👍👍👍 sure thing
someone else: you (a gay trans person) shouldn’t use the word queer to describe yourself!!!
me: you’ll 🖕 have 🖕 to 🖕 pry 🖕 it 🖕 from 🖕 my 🖕 cold 🖕 dead 🖕 queer 🖕 hands
